In a Sheffield Shield match Steve Waugh was taking his time getting ready to face his first ball.
Jamie Siddons had enough and remarked: “For f***’s sake, mate, it’s not a f***ing test match!”.
To which Waugh replied: “Of course it’s not… You’re here”.
Waugh: “I remember you from a couple of years ago. You were shit then and you’re fucken useless now!”.
Parore :“Yeah that’s me. And I remember you were dating that old, ugly slut. I see you’ve married her now. You dumb c***”.
Nasser Hussain walks out to bat and a fielder was instructed to field at silly point and get “right under his nose”.
Ian Healy’s response “That could be anywhere in a 3 mile radius…”
Shane Warne, trying to tempt Arjuna Ranatunga out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive.
Wicketkeeper Ian Healy had an idea
“Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it.”
England opening batsman and captain Graham Gooch had missed a few deliveries from Australia’s Merv Hughes.
Merv Hughes’ words of encouragement were “I’ll get you a piano instead – see if you can play that.”
Marshall was bowling to Boon who had played and missed a couple.
Marshall: “Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?”
During a county game, after beating Richards bat a few times Thomas told Richards:
“It’s red, round & weighs about 5 ounces in case you were wondering.”
Richards hammered the next delivery out of the cricket grounds and into a nearby river. Turning to the bowler, he said:
“Greg, you know what it looks like, now go and find it.”
Upon Ormond’s arrival at the crease Mark Waugh said . “—- me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here? There’s no way you’re good enough to play for England.”
Ormond replied: “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my family.”
Ranatunga called for a runner on a hot night during a one day match in Sydney…
Healy’s reply was “You don’t get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat ****”
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