Sledges you can use

I’ve seen better batting in the shower

the only runs he gets is on the toilet

He’s fishing more than Andrew Symonds.

everyone hold on to something, this guy cant drive

I’ve seen better batters in a fish and chip shop

More leaves that a tree

swinging like a rusty gate

swinging like a dunny door on curry night

More blocks than a Lego factory

Like an old lady poking with her umbrella at a wasp’s nest

Beaten like a red-headed step son.

Watching you is making me a worse batsman.

You couldn’t score in a brothel.

if your parents seperated, would they still be brother and sister?

pass me the ball i have to pull all the splinters out of it

He’s bowling so slowly that if he doesn’t like a ball he can run after it and bring it back

  • Daniel

    Theres S**t on the end of your bat. (Batsmen turn bat round to look) no mate on its on the other end. ( indicating the batsmen is S**t

    • Ben

      You couldn’t nic a TV in an LA Riot

  • Marco

    My chiwawa has more bark than this guys bat !

  • Jon

    Got more singles than eHarmony

  • Ted

    the connection is worse than vodophone

  • This batsmen couldn’t pull his own di**

  • naeem

    Should I toss you a newspaper, then maybe you’d read that better.

  • John Bastwrous

    Hes got more edges than a 50 cent piece

  • Lachlan

    More trouble then a pregnant nun!

  • Red

    That had more edge on it than the last U2 album…

  • Ryan

    The Wicket-keeper is getting more balls than a Prostitute

  • Henry

    More dots than an indian wedding
    Seen women drive better

  • Peter Nimble

    When the batsman is jittery at the crease “He has more moves than Michael Jackson”

  • Uknown

    more dots than an aboriginal painting

  • Uknown

    the score sheets starting to look like a leopard

  • StarTendulkar

    More dots than Braille

  • Lachie

    Got more swings then playground

  • Lachie

    Your got more Mrs then tiger woods

  • Brandt

    Your mum called, she said you left your game at home

  • steve_Macc

    “This guys bat must be worth 50 cents, all it has is edges”

    When there is a slow bowler bowling, and the batsmen misses the ball say “keep It up mate your to fast for him”

    If the ball keeps hitting the pads and he doesn’t get out, say “he’s got more pads then Woolworths”

    If the bats man keeps missing the ball say “I think your bat has a hole in it”
    “It’s red, round, and has a seem”

    “The score card looks like a leopard”

  • Harry

    He’s got more dots than a Dalmation

  • Paddy

    Guys lets clean the room because thig guy can’t sweep

  • Beam

    This batsman Is like a doughnut all edge and no middle

  • Nic

    He couldn’t even read you if he had a book

    • You suck

    • Khoby

      Hand him a piano and see if he can play that

  • Got more blocks than minecraft

  • Lachlan

    Got more leaves than a gumtree

  • You got more misses than henry the 8th

    If other team quiet in field is this a library?!

  • Taosn

    We need a new cleaner because he can,t sweep.

  • More misses then Henry VIII

  • Caleb leckstrom

    This guys seeing more balls then paris Hilton

  • Jack

    There footwork’s improving already, there moving to the pavilion much quicker

  • Jack

    This batsmen sure must like Di** cause he’s missing all of the balls

  • Bob

    The batsman is shaking more than a tickle me elmo

  • Hobbsi

    Can’t drive without a drivers licence

  • Fraser Morgan (wiki boy)

    More Blocks than a pedophile on facebook

  • luke

    this bloke couldnt drive, even if he had auto steer

  • Harry

    Lets feed the stumps a cherry

  • Brad robbo

    (Rubbish bowling)
    “Bring him on from both ends”

  • U r a nerd

  • hsfsuafue

    Got more swings than tarzan

  • George Davis

    Got more leaves than a tree
    He’s swinging like the toilet door on curry night
    His bat is like a doughnut, all edge no middle
    He needs a stopwatch to improve his timing
    You can’t drive without a drivers licences
    He’s had more misses than Henry the 8th
    The stumps are hungry lets feed ’em a cherry, cherry are yuck lets feed ’em a duck.

  • Jack

    He is on the front cover of the no idea magazine

  • blake

    you betta call a taxi, this guy cant drive

  • Scott

    That’s gone straight through him like a vindaloo curry

  • Get him some scizzors cos he can’t cut

  • Tom

    Someone sow this guy a bin, he doesnt know where to throw his rubbish

  • Tom


  • Cassie Jurkov

    winner winner chicken ‘dyn’er

  • chris

    this guys shaking like a jackhammer

  • chris

    (complimenting your spinner) he’s spinning faster than an electron)

  • Sonia Angus

    On his toes off he goes
    Catches win matches
    Send the bails to New South Wales
    Do the Yorker he’ll be a walker


    he’s like a Doughnut, he has no middle

  • Reef

    Send the stumps to Donald trump

  • Reef

    send the stumps to Donald trump

  • Jacob Grafton

    Don’t give him the keys he can’t drive
    Don’t give him the scissors he can’t cut
    More dots that a Dalmatian

  • Ethan Maltby

    more misses then a playboy mansion